Does Nora Hold the Secret to the Next Billion-Dollar App? – Awkwafina is Nora from Queens
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Does Nora Hold the Secret to the Next Billion-Dollar App? – Awkwafina is Nora from Queens

March 13, 2020

(music playing on laptop)You got investors
off of this? This shitty PowerPoint
stock template? Yeah, it’s sort of
industry standard. God, Silicon Valley’s
such bullshit. Ooh, very hot take, Nora. Really, they’re investing
in my reputation. But there are no good
app ideas anymore. Everything’s already been done. That’s not true. Netflix for Dogs. Uh, a poop emoji. But it’s like pictures
of your own poop, and you put eyes on it. What about an app
that takes a picture
of a place, and you can find out what–
what used to be there? I don’t know if anyone’s
done that already, but that’s actually good. What about like
a flesh mold of a vagina, right, but it’s portable? And we call it
a pocket pussy. Okay, this might take a while,
but keep going. An app that tells you
if you’re ugly or not. An app that you could
look at your vagina
like in a mirror. What else? An app that shows you
what you would look like as a decaying corpse,
that’s tight, that’s a good one. No! An app that tells you if a ghost is friendly or not. What? An app that finds
your long-lost friends. An app that lightly stimulates
your butthole. An app that lightly
stimulates your friends’. An app that beckons
squirrels. An app that– it’s like Tinder
but for parakeets. I need more! But I have to poop. You should be
pooping ideas!

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  1. I legit thought this was an app. Anyway, they found the app in the end, it's an app that takes your shit, you just shit on your phone and leave it there.

  2. An app that tells you when your show will be cancelled based on how many episodes are posted for free on the internet.

  3. 🎬We meet in line a the airport. I usually dont strike up conversation in these situations, but we have been waiting a while. "Can you believe this s–t?" You dont know im a swell guy, so you give me a funny look. As you do. But I persist and before we get tickets, we are laughing. I like when you laugh a happy laugh. Life hasn't always been easy.🎺

  4. We sit down for drinks, because we have to wait on later flights. " Do you know anything about Denver? " No. I've never been outside of Queens." "I've been running the family business since I was ten." This is my first vacation. (Tom) Let's get out of here. I'll take you up in the mountains. I heard it's supposed to get dumped on tonight. We could light a fire and drink something warm. On me.🏂

  5. “An app that lets you see your vagina like in a mirror.”
    That one is already available. It’s called a mirror.

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